This is the first log I have actually felt the need to record. Everything before I joined the Assembly is stored back home, and everything since has been recorded by the others. But there was something I wanted to get off my chest, about the goings on around here.
After the truth was revealed about Lord Ku (a truth that I was hidden to, thanks to Ku himself), we were joined by the Despot. For all intensive purposes, he is my younger brother, through Lord Ku. At first, I was a little skeptical, as he was obviously a gremlin, but if Lord Ku trusted him, then I knew I must as well.
As time went on, and I learned more of him, I came to understand him better and to enjoy his company more and more. The others are wary of him, some even seeming to outright hate him. They just don’t know him, they are too afraid to know him.
But… I keep feeling like… sometimes these feelings I have are tied more towards to my feeling for Mother. I wonder, sometimes, if I am trying to create a family out of my Assembly, including Despot. It’s not the same as when I am with Mother, but… similar. I’ve noticed it off and on when the Assembly is dealing with Nut. I, sometimes, feel an odd emotion whenever Tex, especially, is paying attention to her. I need to talk to Vist about it, see if he knows. But whenever I am with her alone, I feel close to her. It may be due to our similar physical ages, or due to something I cannot see or understand. Maybe Lord Ku has some plan for her and I can sense it. Who knows…
I started feeling better once I moved my sleeping area into the same room as Despot. Makes me feel… protected. Which is odd, as I can protect myself just fine, but there are times when I want to feel like someone else is doing the protecting.